Sexy Superheroes Are Like Tip Jars

Have you ever been to a coffee shop where there are two rival tip jars at the counter? They usually have writing on them, like one that reads, “The Empire Strikes Back,” and the other that reads, “Burn All of Star Wars in a Fire.” People put money into the jar they most vibe with. Mechanically speaking, that’s a dating sim.

Over the course of a dating sim, the player is presented a series of choices, often reflecting how they want to treat a datable character. For example, Amy says she lost her cat and asks if you’ll help her find it, but you promised Tina you would meet her at the erotic bakery to pick out a butt-shaped cake for her BFF’s bachelorette party. If the player rescues the cat, that’s a plus for Amy, mechanically speaking, like a dollar in Amy’s tip jar. If you go ass cake shopping instead, that’s a dollar in Tina’s jar.

At key story points in a dating sim, the system tallies up the tips to see who the player is matching with. So, if you’ve been consistently siding with Amy, or saying things she likes, then when all the characters are headed to the beach – in every dating sim, all the characters have to take a beach day; it’s a legal requirement for developers – Amy is the one who asks you to join her at the bonfire that night.

So, as my writing partner Amanda and I were developing superhero hunks for our sexy X-Men dating sim, I was thinking about the signs on the tip jars.

Character development began on a car trip to WonderCon. We based our datable superheroes around a team of X-Men we found sufficiently spicy and who we thought would bounce off each other well (Cyclops/Storm, Gambit, Rogue/Nightcrawler, Wolverine). There were still four important things we needed to know about each character:

1. What is their personality? We wanted a cast who are attractive and lovable for different reasons, to give the player interesting options. Our characters are the tip jars themselves.

2. What are their powers? We wanted powers that double as badass in battle and in the bedroom for the ultimate superhero fantasy. Powers are what’s written on the jars.

3. How do they relate to their fellow heroes? We wanted these characters to have a fun, snippy back-and-forth with each other, like in X-Men: The Animated Series. Their tension and rivalries will distinguish the jars.

4. What do the heroes want in a romantic partner? The player will make a series of choices throughout the game, which will either attract or turn-off each hero. So we need to know our heroes’ turn ons and turn offs. What kinds of responses put tips in their jars? (Or, to keep it sexy, speedos.)

For our team leader, we decided to make him dependable, highly-driven, and stoic. He’s protective and cares deeply about his fellow heroes and the missions, but doesn’t tolerate people undermining his authority. We gave him advanced ranged weapon proficiency. When he picks up any gun, or crossbow, or even a rock, he’ll hit his target 99.7% of the time without having to aim. He always hits the right spot, as it were. (I’m putting double entendres in italics. Feels real good.) Our leader is looking for a romantic partner who’s willing to put in the work, train extra hard, and be as reliable as him.

For our playboy, we decided to make him charming, exciting, and self-centered. He’s a gorgeous lothario who’s interested in public heroics to enhance his image. Unlike Gambit, a thief, our playboy is a wealthy Italian fashion model, who hits on his fellow teammates. We gave him the power to raise body temperature, which can lead to heart attacks and dehydration, or the romantic quickening of a heartbeat. Our playboy is looking for a romantic partner who he won’t lose interest in after a one night stand, so someone who will keep him on his toes.

For our outcast, we decided to make him witty, sweet, and a slacker. He’s a nerdy boy who would rather be playing video games than saving the world, but given his blue-green complexion, he can’t hide from who he is. We gave him psychedelic skin. As soon as he touches someone, they have a kind of acid trip. The breadth and duration of the touch determines how long the trip lasts, from a days long freakout to a pleasant high in the evening. Our outcast is looking for someone who will look past his physical appearance and barriers to touch to connect with him on a deep level.

Finally, for our beast man, we decided to make him tough, outspoken, and heartbroken. He’s a man who’s known a lot of hardship, has a lot of walls up, and has trouble getting along with people. We gave him a controllable animal morphing ability. At will, he can turn parts of himself into a bear. He can give himself bear claws to shred an attacker or a powerful bear pelvis for… uh, reasons. But the longer he uses the ability, the more likely he is to lose control and become a bear for an extended length of time. When he goes berserk (bear-serk?), he doesn’t remember what he does, only a sense of dread that it was very bad. Our beast man needs someone to comfort him and help him process his demons.

We developed two other characters. One would be a female team mentor who is kindhearted, but socially awkward. She provides the team with resources, like a sick compound to live on. We thought it’d be nice to have a little feminine energy present, even if she’s not datable. The mentor would be a cross between Professor X and Moira MacTaggert, whose scientific powers bring in the bucks needed to sustain a superhero sanctuary. Her goal would be to preserve, protect, and better understand people with powers, like herself. Her protective bubble would give her heroes a safe haven where romantic relationships can flourish, even in the dangerous times our heroes find themselves in.

If our mentor is nurturing, then our first villain would be exploitative: a supervillain vampire modeled on Mister Sinister. A businessman who seduces others, especially super humans, then drains their lifeforce to sustain himself… and perhaps grow his business empire. But more on him and his plot in a future installment, true believers.

Our sexy X-Men jars are now laid out next to the cash register. Next, we’ll create an adventure designed rife with action, romance, and opportunities suitable for tipping.

🎲 Your Turn: Based on their descriptions, which superhero would you “tip”: the leader, the playboy, the outcast, or the beast man? Email your reply or use the “Comment” button below to tell the whole world.

🔌 Plugs: I’ll be at San Diego Comic-Con this Saturday (2-4 pm) and Sunday (11-1 pm) demoing a new tabletop game I’ve been working on. Body Slam is a strategic card batter game with deckbuilding where larger than life fighters are splayed out across 6 cards! If you’re at the show, stop by the gaming pavilion and fight me!

 📨 Next Week: I talk about one of the most commonly used tropes in game stories… and defend it to the death.

Image by catalyststuff on Freepik