I want to sincerely thank everyone who reached out after my newsletter about getting fired last week. Your kind words, encouragement, and support lifted my spirits throughout a tough week. I’m grateful to have wonderful family, friends, and readers. 🙏
Equip Story isn’t a newsletter about work. It’s about making games for the sake of making games. The joy of creating art free from capitalism’s demands for profit. But a guy’s gotta eat!
In order to make art for fun, I have to earn a living. Since I got fired last week, unemployment has naturally been on my mind. That’s what I’m going to write about today. Specifically, two tools designed to help me stay sane during periods where I’m out of work. One tool I’ve just started using and the other I’ve been testing for years now with good results.
Unemployment Tool #1: Daily Affirmations
When people ask me if I’ve read The Artist’s Way, I always say the same thing: “Yes, but I liked Big Magic a lot better.” One recommendation from The Artist’s Way that felt too woo-woo for me when I read it was the idea of daily affirmations. You look yourself in the mirror, do your best Stewart Smalley impersonation, and tell yourself something positive every day. If I remember correctly – and I may not! – the list of daily affirmations in The Artist’s Way is long and full of references to god. I’m just trying to make cool art, not join a new religion. I’m already a practicing Jew. I practice twice, maybe three times a year when I’m getting married. (Or hosting an awards show.)
During past periods of unemployment, I’ve gone through jags of listlessness, hopelessness, and desperation. Hopefully I won’t be unemployed for long, but if I’m in for a long slog, I need to bolster my self esteem and enthusiasm. So this is going to be my daily affirmation while I’m unemployed…
1. It’s okay to have fun. My responsibility is to look for work every day and hustle for work as best I can. If I do that, then I will not feel guilty about taking breaks, making progress on creative projects, and meeting up with friends during the work day. It’s hard enough to find a job. I don’t have to make it hard on myself psychologically, too. I will be a good boss to myself.
2. It’s okay to not earn a living for a while. The reviews are in! I’m a terrific husband, family member, friend, writer, and game designer. I have been told this many times. Long periods of not bringing in income might chip away at my self-esteem as my bank balance lowers. But capitalism is unfair! We don’t live in a meritocracy! My line of work is very competitive! I will be patient with myself as I line up the next thing.
3. It’s okay to ask for help. I like to be self-sufficient, but it’s good to ask others for help when you really need it. I live in a supportive community. This is a time to reach out to friends and family. Ask for advice. Call in favors. Vent to my wife. I am not alone. There’s no shame in being unemployed. It happens to everyone. I’ve helped lots of friends get work. I will give others the opportunity to help me.
Of course, it’s easy to write these things now, when things feel less shitty, lol. These positive messages might be harder to internalize in month three or later. That’s why I’m making this a daily affirmation, starting today, so the words have time to seep in. I’ll play your game, The Artist’s Way author Julia Cameron. For now.
Unemployment Tool #2: The Job Application Database
Past job searches have felt aimless. Like I was floating in an endless void of rejection. Send out resume. Receive a rejection or no reply whatsoever. Repeat line one. I never felt like I was making progress, even though I was doing the exact thing you need to do to get hired somewhere.
Rejection is inevitable when you’re a game writer. On average, every job I apply to gets several hundred applicants. Even if I’m perfect for a position, in a group of several hundred, there are bound to be others who are perfectly qualified, too. Not to mention stumbling blocks like AI resume readers, or how massive layoffs in games mean more applicants than ever are applying for positions. Unfortunately, there are a lot more narrative designers out there than paid opportunities for narrative designers.
In 2021, I had an idea. Instead of just letting myself bathe in the murky waters of rejection (gross?), I started keeping track of my job hunt data. In the database, I list the name of every job listing I apply for, including the company’s name, the date I applied, and any follow-up I received.
Before you ask: no, I’m not a masochist. I don’t mind keeping track of the all the studios who rejected me. They will RUE the DAY!! The rejection doesn’t hurt my feelings or anything. As I said, it’s a competitive industry.
I do this for the data. Every job I apply to becomes a data point I can use to map out what’s going on with my search. (I’m mapping the void, which is not unlike tripping the rift.) There’s no wasted effort. When a company ghosts me and I just stew about it, I feel bad. When a company ghosts me and I record it on a spreadsheet, I’m building a statistical story. It becomes a project I control.
Every closed door becomes a step on my journey. The question becomes, “How many steps do I need to climb?” From the data, I know that the last three times I looked for gigs since 2021, it took me four months to land one. In a way, that’s reassuring. It gives me a reference point. Of course, my data doesn’t guarantee the same thing will happen for this search. In fact, the games industry is in much worse shape than in 2024, so I’m emotionally and financially prepared for this search to take longer. (I saved a lot of the money I made at Doborog. Despite having a full time job, I never abandoned my frugal freelancer ways.) And if my search goes way too long, it won’t just be an amorphous feeling of failure. I’ll know from data and can take action quickly. (“Hello, blood bank? What do y’all pay for blood? Uh huh. Okay, but what if it’s premium blood?”)
Rejection is tough to withstand, especially early in your career. This tool makes me feel much better about my job search. I like removing power from rejection by reducing it to a data point.
🎲 Your Turn: How do you deal with unemployment? How does it make you feel? Are you a daily affirmations person? Does it work? What’s the most specific spreadsheet you’ve ever made? What’s your favorite Sci-Fi Channel original series? I’d love to hear from you! Reply directly to this email or post a comment by hitting the orange button below.
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